chisels

I saw a woman throw up after getting off the subway yesterday- just spilled everything out onto the platform. Do you ever see someone vomit and wish that you could throw up on the inside, just spew out all the pain and poison? There's such simplicity in how the body reacts to toxins. To the best of its ability it immediately flushes them out. How is it then that our hearts are made to embrace such complexity, too often internalizing the poisons we come across?

I wish I were far away somewhere, watching the sunset over a western sea. What comfort there is in watching our star drown in the ocean and melt like so much fiery ink, spelling out His faithfulness to us. His torrid, burning letters sear my heart and seal me for no other. The rhythm of the day wearing into night, the urgency of the light of morning, all steady a weary heart with the cadence of earth and heaven.

Why do you court the attention of the others and leave me here? Take a number, please. I will never be as pretty. I will never be nearly as fun as those who surround you. What heart-breaking shame there is to wait like a puppy at someone's heels, and yet a woman is made to love only one man and in the waiting cannot seek the attention of others who would so quickly devour. What kind of heart is made to permit such carelessness? Wisdom dictates patience. The Lord of Romance told me it was to be the other way around. He's always been there, faithfully waiting through our foolish days and whorish nights. I lay down in awe before such love and patience, and I set myself apart for the one who will choose me in the same way.

All the chisels I've dulled carving idols of stone
That have crumbled like sand 'neath the waves
I wrecklessly built all my dreams in the sand
Just to watch them all wash away
Through another day
Another trial
Another chance to reconcile
To the One who sees past all I see
And reaching out my weary hand
I pray that You understand
You're the only one who's faithful to me

(jennifer knapp- "chisels")