Cathartic Wednesday

Wednesday evening. My co-workers are so patient. God bless them. Seriously, I had it out with them today. We talked about all the miscommunications, the times when they make me feel like an animal in a cage, situations and meetings for which I cannot find a reason- all hatched in the eastern mind and completely unfathomable to me, how the previous foreign teacher and I are so very different, and how I seem to be discovering that ESL teaching is really not my thing. It was such a healthy discussion. I apologized for how immature I can be from time to time. I'm still learning to leave personal problems at home and not let them leak into my attitude at work. I'm far too emotional, and I think that my students and co-teachers notice that. At least they know that I know that it's a problem and that I'm working on it. We are all now a little more well-known to each other and a little less like characters from a never-ending story book about public high school in Asia.

Came home, had a beer, a grilled cheese sandwich, some oreos, and then hopped in the shower. I love my daily shower(s)! The activity of showering somehow embodies renewal, transfusion, regeneration, and redemption all in one. Shortly thereafter I spoke with my oldest and dearest friend on the phone, ate an orange, emailed another foreign teacher about an agreement to rent/share my apartment on the weekends, and now I'm going to bed early. This week I've taken a liking to sleeping early and then getting up while it's dark to have coffee in the stillness of the morning. It helps to focus and internalize the fact that: I am not what I do. I am who I am and what I do is a reflection of that.